Hello everyone, I just want to share a review that Jeff Reid, one of my beta readers, wrote on my upcoming novel. Keep in mind that it's a review of one of the final drafts rather than the finished product itself, but it gives an amazing overview for those of you who are curious.
"Falhorne Book I: The World Is Burning by Tristan Dineen
For this review, I’m in a position I rarely find myself in: this book is not yet published, so my comments are less reflective of a final product. In fact, in the time it took me to read and write feedback for the book, my friend and author of the book, Tristan Dineen, has already gone through several more revisions.
Falhorne Book I is the opening novel for a fantasy series that centers around a Falhorne warrior named Tagus. A Treaty has, at the opening of the book, ensured peaceful coexistence between Church/State and the supposed heretics, with whom Tagus is affiliated. Unfortunately, that peace is coming to an end as the authorities infringe on the religious celebrations of the people of Fiore with tacit / explicit support of the Prince. As the Treaty falls apart, tensions rise and disaster looms on the horizon.
For “fans”(?) of my reviews, it will be well-known that I take issue with a great deal of fantasy. I often find world-building clunky, ill-timed, or just plain uninteresting -- which is not the case here. Dineen builds the world in short bursts that are, for the most part, integrated seamlessly into the narrative. Gone are the days of Tolkein screeching to a halt for fifty pages while we get the history of a region. Dineen avoids the expositional approach and instead introduces readers to the world gradually, with some elements not even being explicitly stated but just referenced contextually so that readers are immersed (rather than forced into submission by excessive narration).
The central conflict of the story is pretty engaging and often speaks to contemporary conflicts, which I quite liked. There’s a timeliness to the novel that makes reference to issues like the refugee crisis, the imbalance of wealth and power, and so on. The exploitation of the lower class rings true, albeit in a fantasy setting. The conflict is introduced in the first few chapters of the novel, which lays a solid groundwork. The story really picks up about halfway through. I’ll try not to spoil too much, but a kind of riot takes place around the midpoint of the book that changes everything. Incidentally, there’s some really nicely crafted, powerful misdirects that build genuine surprise with respect to the fates of some characters. After that midpoint, the plot moves forward at a good clip, moving through prison cells, sewers, and underground labyrinths as the central characters move closer to unearthing a conspiracy. There are a few chapters that cycle through various perspectives surrounding the same event, which is a cool approach, as well, particularly because Dineen avoids the temptation to overuse the device.
The broad strokes of the conflict work, but there were a few areas where I thought it deserved some more attention or elaboration [a far better position than it feeling too long, if you ask me]. For instance, towards the end Tagus encounters some wraiths and it’s a really cool scene where they’re sort of drifting in and out of shadow. I’d love to see that scene developed in more detail, perhaps with the central three heroes becoming separated and dealing with wraiths before coming back together for the climax of the battle. Particularly because that’s the last major battle scene before the end of the novel, I felt it could use some more detail -- I’m looking forward to seeing how they come back in the sequels, too.
Between the different foci for the novel, the main character and conflict is undoubtedly Tagus and his quest to free slaves. The protagonist and the conflict fit together organically. I hope I’m not spoiling too much by revealing that Tagus was enslaved as a youth and so his motivation to free others rings true.
While Tagus is the main character of the novel, some of the other characters stand out as real highlights. In particular, Tagus’ wife Corrie is, for me, the most compelling character. When she’s first introduced in the novel, she’s operating almost like a magical forensic analyst investigating a seeming murder. The description of her using her powers is both mysterious and human; if I were to summarize it, it’s almost as though she experiences the horrors after they’ve happened and feels them at an intuitive level. The effect is that she gains a kind of second-hand trauma, and again I really look forward to seeing where that goes in the sequels.
There’s an element to Corrie and Tagus’ relationship that I’d like to see developed a bit further. There’s a secret between them, and I think that could be a great way to heighten tension between them and challenge their love a little bit; alternatively, having some more moments of organic tenderness that overshadow the tension of the secret could be another way of building their relationship up for the audience.
I haven’t yet spoken of the quality of writing, which is quite strong. Especially in the opening chapters, I noticed that the paragraph structure is immaculate. The paragraphs end on punchy lines that make each paragraph feel considered and purposeful. Similarly, the rhetorical approach throughout the novel makes for some really powerful moments. The turns of phrase that serve as ‘keys’ to the text (lenses through which to read the events) are impactful in a non-cheesy way, which is refreshing.
Additionally, the novel is atmospheric and provides settings with great descriptors to help build the mood. One of the things I most liked is that the similes and metaphors throughout the book are consistent with the milieu. It’s challenging to craft a great simile, and to do it without relying on contemporary references is another thing altogether, and Dineen pulls it off effectively.
Overall, there are a lot of great things going on in this draft of Dineen’s Falhorne series. I’m not generally a fantasy reader, so I’m not the most qualified for offering these comments, but I will say: I’ll be very excited when Dineen and the rest of us see this book in print -- even if we’ll be forced to wait for its inevitable sequels."
